Let's Vote

So I think we all know I hate my job. It puts me in a bad mood to work there, it resembles a clique run by 19-year-old giggling girls, and despite working there for a year, I've never managed to move up in the scheme of things. The thing is, I generally make over 20% tips and am told by customers on a regular basis that my service is excellent. So I know I'm not a bad server.

I just had this moment on Tuesday morning, this pleasantly uplifting moment, when I thought, "I don't have to work here. What if I stopped?" And I have not been able to get rid of the thought. It has been stewing in my mind ever since. We'll call it an epiphany. My Jerry Maguire moment. The problem is, I have to work tonight. But after dwelling for the past two days on the happy possibility of never having to go there again, I don't really feel like going.

I don't want to not give two weeks notice, because it's just been drilled into my head that it's the right thing to do. But, as Mike pointed out, why? It's employment at will, and I do not receive any benefits. I don't have to give them notice. I don't have to do anything. It's a waitressing job, it's not in my field, and I don't even have the place on my resume (I decided against putting it on because a) it's just my dumb part time job, and b) the decision not to include it allowed space for another prior job that was further in the past but actually related to my career field). So of course once this insidious idea of just quitting entered my head, it was difficult to get rid of. Plus I signed up to work two doubles back to back over Mother's Day, and you know what? I don't want to. I feel like I do favors for this place and they never do anything to give back.

What I really want to do is go work at a sandwich shop or a busy pizza place for two months, somewhere chill on Magazine Street, where I can wear my regular clothes and look cute and still make okay money, and then start my "real job" in August. It occurred to me on Tuesday that it's my summer, and there's no reason to spend it unpleasantly. And OK, I guess if I was applying for other waitressing jobs, I should want to use them as a reference... but depending on which manager they speak to (I admit to being sort of antagonistic toward the two dumb-as-rocks ones), I might not get a good one anyway. I just don't think they like me there, and I am not sure why.

Well. I know why. It's because I don't kiss anyone's ass, I don't make that place my life, and once I had the realization that I wasn't one of the "special" people who get "special" privileges and nothing I could ever do would make me "special," I kind of stopped putting in the effort. Wouldn't you, though? That's the problem with favoritism... when it runs rampant in a place of employment, it lowers the incentive for your workers who are not favorites to work hard. It's just lame. There is this little clique of college sophomores who are "in" with the managers and think it's fun to play "let's run a restaurant!" And anyone who is not them cannot deal with working with them because they're always gossipping and tattling and bossing. And it's like, I'm an adult. I've had full-time jobs. I'm so not in that place anymore. The only reason I dealt with it so long is that I was always in class and didn't have the time to train somewhere else.

I have a couple of choices regarding how I want to do this. First of all, I am going out this afternoon and doing the rounds at a bunch of restaurants. Little places, though, no fine dining. I am over the androgynous penguin suit. I figure, if I get lucky and someone hires me on the spot, I'll just call in and say, "Peace." Or, I could go in to work tonight and tell them I'm not coming back. Of course then I'd have to quit in person and not over the phone... and I'm afraid I'll rant or cry or back down. But if I DON'T find any leads on jobs this afternoon, then I don't know. I guess I'll give two weeks. But I just don't want to work there another two weeks. I'm telling you, you do not understand how uplifting and personally gratifying the idea of never going back is to me right now. Or, I could go in to work and instigate something, then walk out. I have heavily contemplated this in the past, on really bad shifts where I was getting the shit end of the preferential seating treatment (the managers tell the hostesses to give more tables to certain people, instead of going down the list in order), but didn't have the balls to do it. The downside is I wouldn't be able to put them down as a reference. On the flip side, I'm not sure other restaurant managers really care. People are walking out and getting fired all the time, and everyone manages to get a new job within the week. It's a transient business, and it's a restaurant town.

So... should I quit my job today?