Gaining 15 Pounds: Day 2

Since I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, this isn't a resolution so much as a goal. My mom has been bugging me for a long time to eat more. I just said, "Whatever," because I eat tons and I eat badly. I hope no one who reads this blog will get offended by this or take it the wrong way, because I know most women have the opposite problem. I don't want people to be like, "Oh, poor little skinny girl." But I really need to gain weight, and I am going to be writing about this process. When I went home, I got on the scale and saw that it said 105. Wow. I really had no idea, since I don't have a scale in my house. I mean, I'm no Nicole Richie, but that's pretty thin.

I did one of those BMI (Body Mass Index) calculator things, and I wound up at a 17.3. This is classified as "underweight." At my height I pretty much need to weigh at least 115 to be healthy, since a healthy BMI is 18.5-19 and up. I really don't know how I lost all this weight. Mike is quite stumped as well, since I do all the wrong things. By this I mean things they tell you not to do unless you want to gain weight. I put cheese and bacon on everything, and have a diet of mostly carbs (I love pasta-- love!) I skip breakfast. I eat meals at midnight and fall asleep directly afterward. I have always had a really fast metabolism, so these things have never caused me to gain weight.

I think a number of factors caused me to lose weight, though. First, my job. I work three lunch shifts a week, which run from 10:15-4. I am one of those people who is totally nauseated by the idea of breakfast, and I have been since I was a kid. So I usually just have coffee and hope they let me out of work early so I can get lunch around 3. But sometimes it doesn't work that way, and I end up not eating anything till dinner. Of course, I'm starving, but once your body gets used to it, it is pretty easy to tell it to stop being hungry, especially if I am busy. I also work 2 dinner shifts a week, which start at 4:45 and generally run until anywhere between 11:30 and 1:30 AM. So it's obvious that working during times when most normal people are eating meals has caused me to get fewer regular meals. We get to snack sometimes at the restaurant, but I don't really have any breaks.

Second, I don't sit at a desk all day. I am on my feet, being active. This burns more calories than I'm taking in. Third, I haven't gone to the gym since Katrina. Cardio-wise, this doesn't matter so much (most people would be putting ON weight from not working out, not the other way around) because I am active at my job. I'm walking at a fast pace and carrying heavy things (platter plates weigh 4.5 pounds each, for instance, and I do a 3-plate carry, which brings us up to 12.5 lbs -- stick a couple of 22 oz. ribeyes on there and it's almost like the gym!). But I have lost muscle weight from not lifting regularly, which is heavier than fat. My arms are strong for someone my size, but I bet I've lost muscle mass over the rest of my body. Fourth, I think Katrina stress kind of bummed me out. I lost weight after that last year and didn't gain it back.

So here I am, trying to come up with a strategy for gaining 15 pounds. I think I look and feel my best at 118-120 (stronger than 115 me of high school, yet smaller than 128 me of freshman year after the discovery of beer and all you can eat buffet), and I want to get back there. For one thing, my boobs need the boost. For another, I think not weighing enough might be the reason I've felt so "blah" lately. I don't have enough energy. The problem becomes, I eat a lot. Sort of like a snake, who devours a huge egg which then digests over days. Like I will eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy in a sitting (my former roommate used to yell at me-- "A 'sleeve' is not a unit of measurement for cookies!!"), or I'll make one of those meals in a bag that's supposed to serve two people. The meal I have most often is a can of soup. I always eat the whole can and then usually something else on the side, too. So it's not that I need to add food-- it's that I need to stop coasting between meals because I'm busy. Here are some things I'm going to try, starting yesterday:

1. Protein. Mike has a whole cannister of man-protein (you know, the kind that has pictures of creepy weightlifters on it).
2. Tuna. My brother swears by tuna, and he weighs 280 and is an All-American thrower of large heavy objects (weight & hammer are his events).
3. Peanut butter. Adds protein.
4. Breakfast. I am going to force myself to eat breakfast every day. It makes you hungrier for lunch.
5. Except when hungover.
6. Some articles I read suggested eggs, but I hate eggs. Have you ever seriously thought about what eggs ARE? Ew. I don't want placenta for breakfast, thanks. They also suggested adding cheese and bacon to everything you cook. WHAT THE HELL? WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY RIDICULOUSLY FAST METABOLISM? I ALREADY ADD CHEESE AND BACON TO EVERYTHING!!

How Sarah's New Diet Has Been Going So Far:

Tues Dinner: Two beef tacos with extra cheese, one Instant Breakfast with extra protein.
Weds Breakfast: 1 cup coffee. One bowl frosted mini-wheats.
Weds Lunch: Yeah. So. About that lunch thing... 1/3 of a baked potato, one piece of tres leches cake (a cake made of milk has got to be fattening, right??), and one plate fried rice, all scarfed in free moments at work.
Weds Dinner: 1 large plate of salad (with chicken, cheese, & bacon-- I don't believe in those lettuce-y salads), 1 glass OJ with man protein, 1 Abita beer (what?)

Clearly I need to work on that lunch thing... But then, with my schedule, I believe it might be more expedient to replace "lunch" with "midnight snack." I am a person of the night.