Allow Me To Explain About the Restaurant Business

"Allow me to explain about the theater business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster."
"So what do we do?"
"Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well."
"How?"
"I don't know. It's a mystery."
.... Shakespeare in Love

I think of that quote every night when I'm working. So many times it really does look like disaster up till the last hour. The whole back of a large restaurant exists in a condition of barely controlled disaster, at pretty much all times. And everything is moving very fast. The diners do not notice, but I am telling you it is true. Everyone's job is to not let the diners notice. It is what we get paid for.

Tonight I had this table. They were super nice, polite, loved everything, and the bill was $138. I took the cash and counted it up, and there were 3 fifties. It added up to a tip of less than $12. It was baffling to me. I thought maybe they didn't count properly, and I was sort of disappointed, but there was no way I was going to say anything. It wasn't going to ruin my night, but it made me feel "meh." About fifteen minutes later, the guy who paid comes BACK through the front door, asks the manager, "Where is my waitress? Oh, there she is!" He walks up to me as I am standing by the food counter and hands me a twenty. Turns out he didn't have enough cash, so he CAME BACK. I kind of stuttered, "Oh you didn't have to-- thanks so much-- have a great night-- thanks." Oh my God. No one comes back! They just don't. We were all standing there like, "Did that just happen?"

I made $245 on the dreaded Thanksgiving double. I told you it all turns out well.

Tags: waitressing, thanksgiving