We Should Have Listened

"In one age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose above the broken mountain named Dragonmount. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning."

I mean, it was right there in the first paragraph. "There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time"! Back in high school when I started reading the series for the first time, this seemed like a really cool first paragraph. Eleven books later, I understand, oh, I finally understand-- there is no ending to the Wheel of Time!

In all seriousness, Knife of Dreams is better than the last two books, if only for the fact that a bunch of itty bitty minor characters got dumped and I have a feeling it's for good. There were, in fact, three whole scenes in the book I truly, truly enjoyed. One of them might have made me tear up (wow, that is kind of embarrassing to admit). I skipped most of Rand's scenes, but don't worry, I'm going back to attack them before I go to sleep. Honestly, I lost interest in Rand when he acquired a harem of three women who are supposedly OK with the fact that they share him. I don't have as much of a problem as other readers do about the whole braid-tugging, sniffing, man-snarking portrayal of the female characters (I am a female character, and believe me, I've spent enough time sniffing scornfully at the idiocy of men a la Nynaeve-- present man excluded, of course). But when Elayne, Aviendha, and Min were all like, "Oh! We all have sex with the same guy! Oh, you guys! I always wanted a sister-- group hug!"... well, I draw the line there. I think Rand and that wacky Lews Therin Telamon fellow who rides in his head should dive into the Last Battle already, sacrifice themselves to cause the breaking of the world, and do us all a favor. You know from the prophecies it can only end in tears.

Everyone else... I still want to know what happens to them. I like the prophecies. I like the grand scope. Really, my main problem remains the veritable army of tiny pointless characters who have been introduced in the last several books and who serve no purpose whatsoever. (I believe I have ranted about this before. Oh yes, here, and scroll down.) It is an unalienable truth that can always be counted upon, in these times of uncertainty: when other fantasy authors give a random two-bit farmer dude a name and a description, you know the character will be important, ie: is not going to get chopped up by a sword on the following page, will impart some crucial bit of knowledge to the protagonist, is someone cool in disguise, etc... but if one of Jordan's three million Aes Sedai is standing at the bar across the room having a beer, ignoring Rand, and she never speaks to him and we never see her again, damned if she will not have a name. And most likely a fashionably cut blue silk bodice as well.

Enough for now. To bed. But you heard it here.

There is no ending to the Wheel of Time.

Tags: fantasy, robert jordan, wheel of time, knife of dreams