Tip #5: Order a Bud Light and then get offended when the restaurant doesn't have it.
Tip #5(a): Say, "I'll have a Bud Light."
When the waitress says, "We actually don't have Bud Light, we have--", cut her off and say, "Then I'll have a Coors Light."
"We don't have Coors Light either. We have--"
"I'll have a Miller Light."
"#@$*&#)!@*$#!!" (I don't really say this, but at this point I do get quite snippy.)
I have been getting this a lot lately. There are a couple things wrong with this situation. First of all, I am aware my restaurant has kind of a weird beer list (Abita, Heineken, Beck's Light, Stella Artois, Sierra Nevada). HOWEVER. If you are eating in a restaurant that has $25-30 plates, is it really out of the question that they might not have Bud Lite? Second, I swear the conversation I typed above happens on a weekly basis... and unfailingly, the guest gets increasingly offended and makes some snide remark. OK, Mr. Diner (this diner is unfailingly male), at what point do you realize that YOU are, in fact, the one being rude in this situation? Where do you get off ordering things repeatedly that we don't have and getting mad about it, when you haven't waited ten seconds for me to list what we DO have? Third, about 75% of the time, this conversation ends in the guest actually making a face and saying, "I'll have a water." I have two things to point out about this scenario, the first being that if I'm out to eat and I am in the mood for a beer, damned if I'm going to get a water instead. Who does that? The second is, dude, you ordered a Bud Lite. A Bud Lite. This is a crappier beer than ALL THE OTHER BEERS LISTED ABOVE. If you are ordering a water because Bud Lite is the limit of your beer tastes, I have nothing but sniggering contempt for you and your ilk. What kind of a tool gets self righteous over Bud Lite? Over there, behind the service bar, where you can't see? That's me, laughing at you.
3 comments:
Ha ha. I've run into this before, believe it or not with a bad date. I was like, dude, just order another kind of beer. It's beer. It's not Crystal or something. :)
That is exactly how I feel.
I know it's not exactly the same, but I worked in a restaurant that didn't have sweet tea. You'd think that was blasphemy. I know it's the South, but come on.
Post a Comment