Thirteen Things I Am Afraid Of

Yow. I keep jumping on Sarah's head and saying, "YOW" in her ear to wake her up, but she will not budge. Therefore I have hijacked her computer. How strange to expose oneself in so personal a manner (though this should not be new to me, as I do not wear clothes), by revealing thirteen things about me. This is going to be a list of thirteen things I am afraid of.
1. Smoke alarms. Clearly a sign of impending disaster. I slink under the bed with my butt low to the floor just to be on the safe side.
2. Not-Sarah. He is the slightly bigger one. He makes sudden motions.
3. Sudden motions.
4. The door.
5. The mailman. Once a day this intruder drops mail through a slot, and it falls onto the living room floor with a creak-thump. I hate this man. Sometimes I can see through the window that it is a woman. I hate her too.
6. The Outside. I was stuck in the outside for five months. Do I LOOK like the kind of cat who is meant to be outside?
7. Hurricanes.
8. Thunderstorms (resemblance to hurricanes).
9. People. (Except Sarah.)
10. Construction. This is that loud thing that happens outside the window. Sometimes it happens in the basement. It seems to be happening all the time around here. It is terrifying.
11. In fact, all loud things distress me.
12. Skirts. Sarah wears them sometimes, and they fall toward me in an alarming way. Admit it, they inspire fear in you, too, don't they?
13. Anything that moves. Whatever. I am not ashamed of this. It is my world, dammit. The least things can do is have the respect not to move, and I expect to be obeyed.
YOW!
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4 comments:
Very cute and original!
Poor, cute baby Jolee. He may need therapy.
I almost thought you had my cat. Funny how similar they are. This was great, thanks for sharing.
Ohh, I'll have to steal your idea for a future post. :) Yow!
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