Leopold the Mutant Betta Fish Update

Because so many people have expressed interest in the fate of the Amazing Mutant Betta Fish, I am luckily able to provide the following update. Last Saturday, I dumped the dirty water out of Leopold's fishbowl and cleaned his blue rocks and his pagoda. (He has a pagoda that he lives in.) During this time, he spent a pleasant half hour swimming in a glass of bottled water. I then took him back to the house on Monday and left him on the shelf in the entertainment center where our DVD player and VCR used to be before they were stolen by looting thugs, with plenty of provisions. Marissa is happy to report that he was alive and well when she arrived on Friday. He is now on his way to Cleveland via car.

In the Harry Potter tradition, he will be known henceforth as The Fish Who Lived. Speaking of which, if anyone from the New Orleans Public Library is reading this, I would like to reassure you that your hardcover copies of Harry Potters #1&2 are quite dry, and I will eventually return them. I hope we can work out an arrangement regarding my late fees.