New Orleans Traffic Lesson Of the Day

When you are in a two lane street and YOUR LANE ends, the term for this is a "merge." This means that the vehicle in the lane that is ending "merges" with the traffic in the other lane. Contrary to New Orleans drivers' opinion, or at least the asshole who flipped me off in my rearview mirror today (though it was a nice sneaky little "hands on the wheel" casual flipping of the bird), a merge is NOT accomplished by riding the center line and trying to thereby insert yourself between two vehicles moving at 35 mph with less than 10 feet of space between them and expecting the rearmost vehicle to slam on the brakes for you. No. Just no. That vehicle (in this case, we'll call it "me") has what is called the "right of way" which means that it is moving with the flow of traffic that you ARE NOT IN, since your lane has ENDED. Perhaps if you'd put on a signal, I'd have let you in. But see, it's my prerogative. Because I AM THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC. Bitch. Which means it is your job to slam on the brakes and wait, not mine. Which furthermore means that if you hadn't done so, and had in fact hit my vehicle, you would be placed at fault for failure to yield. So I wouldn't flip me off if I were you. I work for 40 personal injury attorneys.

This has been your New Orleans Traffic Lesson of the Day. Thank you.