Why Do I Feel So Guilty???

So I called in sick today for the first time in... geez... how long has it been since I even had paid sick days? Anyhow, I have been struggling with a sinus thing since the weekend, and spent the day yesterday with a headache like a vise around my head and just feeling generally shaky. Plus my voice is going. At the end of the day, I made all my copies and left detailed plans on my desk, just in case. The thing about me and colds is I like to merrily pretend they don't exist, and as a result, they just get worse and last longer.

And now, of course, here I am and I feel horribly guilty and can't get back to sleep. This may also be related to the fact that I passed out on the couch at 9:00 PM last night, so I've already had my eight hours. I guess I should probably go back to bed. I wish I wasn't so ingrained with this sense of guilt though. I know it's going to be hard for them to find someone to cover for me, because they're short people. But also I'm used to just soldiering on, going to work anyway, and dragging myself around being miserable all day. But, like, this isn't exactly a job you can do if your voice goes. Part of my guilt is based on next week being Thanksgiving Break. I am off for 9 days starting Saturday, so it is a frustratingly dumb time to have to take a sick day.

I don't know why I am being so obsessive, like, "Maybe they'll question my sickness! Maybe I'll get in trouble! Maybe they'll hate me!" I am certainly the only one on my hall who hasn't taken a day yet, and it's been three months since I started working. Plus I've already gone to work sick several times. I obviously need to get over it. But I have this guilt thing.

My cats are swarming me, and Starbuck is batting at my tissue like she's about to shred it. Silly cats. OK, time to get back in bed and try to make my head work again.