I Hate the Radio

I just heard some rap song purportedly entitled "Lip Gloss," by some 17-year-old "artist." It was a horrible experience. I wish I had that 45 seconds of my life back.

What are these children thinking?

I am working a ton of shifts this week, in an attempt to not be poor. (Because I get paid by the hour now, this is what my attempts to not be poor look like. Nothing but work, work, work, all the time!) Sometime I should tell you about the creepy folk that frequent the restaurant/bar where I work. It's sort of a fine line. They pay me to stand there and be the face of the restaurant, basically, so you have to be polite to people. Let's just say I've had to get the hang of "polite but firm" very quickly in this job.

On a hilarious note, though, the other night the bartender from the bar next door came in. The other hostess and I were both sort of new, and we didn't know that he was from next door, so we stood there looking expectantly at him. He stood at our stand and looked at us.

He said, "Can you feel the tension?"

We stared at him.

"Do you... need a table?" I asked.

He stared some more. We couldn't help it. We stared back. It was so weird. It was like a standoff. "Is this getting awkward yet?" he asked.

"Yeah," we said. "Totally feeling the awkwardness."

"Yeah," he said cryptically. "I know."

Then he walked off to talk to our bartender. We both burst out laughing. It was the weirdest thing ever. He was basically doing it on purpose, waiting for us to stop being polite and either ask who the hell he was or tell him off for being weird, but we just couldn't. So the three of us just stood there and stared at each other.

OK, I think you had to be there.