A New & Hilarious Breed of Spam
Has anyone else started getting these in the last couple of months? I've gotten the ones about penis enlargement. I've gotten the ones that say "RE:hey" to someone I would never click on because a) I don't know them, and b) I did not say hey to them in the first place. I've gotten the ones purporting to be from my webmaster, saying they need my account information (totally laughable because I own the domain and therefore am the webmaster). I get ones from a guy named Rogert, and I wish someone had the heart to email back and tell him that there is Robert and there is Roger, but Rogert is not actually a real name.
But these... these are my new favorite spam. They have a particular format that cracks me up. They are from some random name, doesn't matter. It usually sounds like a real name. The subject of the one I got today is "Your money, oak fungus." I have also gotten "Your future, Navaho blanket." How about "Your cash, pagoda tree"? I hate spam, but these are kind of awesome. They're so cryptic and bizarre. I wish I remembered more, but unfortunately I delete them after my first morning laugh. If you click to see what's inside, it's some drivel about Cialis-- and I really mean drivel, it's not even in complete sentences, it seems more like someone puked out a pile of words-- and then a short excerpt from what looks like a piece of fiction-- probably someone's work that's been stolen by the spammer. Here is the one that came with "Your money, oak fungus":
==========
he moved.
"Yeah. Your hydromagnetic trap, whatchamacallit . . . Object 77b. It's
"Me? Jon, I'm just a plain seagull and you're... "
"No way. Tender is surrounded by reporters. You should see him. He's
think upside down, reversing the curve of his wing, and reversing it
shut, unable to feel my arms or my legs, when Kirill spoke.
"Couldn't I? Don't you think that there might be other flocks, other
"That's all I wanted cleared up. You're Free to go.
On second thought, the excerpt also resembles words puked out onto the page. I wonder if they somehow caught on that I write science fiction, though that would be utterly creepy. The last one was vaguely SF-ish as well. But it didn't have seagulls.
However, I am upset that the contents of the email shed no light on how to get my very own Navaho blanket in my future...
2 comments:
GAH! How could they defile one of my favorite books of all time!?
Those excerpts are from 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull'.
Those vile spammers!! I feel ill.
I figured it was stolen from something real. And it made no sense because it was just parts of lines. Spammers are pretty dumb.
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