Huge Slob? Or Patterns in the Chaos?

It has come to my attention, from my loving boyfriend with whom I live, that I am a disgusting pig. I probably already knew this. For as long as I can remember, I have somehow attracted empty dishes. They gravitate to me like flies to a lightbulb. I am also a proponent of the "twelve inch stack of papers and mail" method of filing. I possess a complete inability to keep clothes from forming piles. And oh, they are large piles, of the variety capable of eating entire pieces of furniture the size of an armchair or a couch. Someone sends me something in a box? The box sits under my desk for months. What? I might need a cardboard box! What if a situation arose when we needed five cardboard boxes and I had THROWN THEM OUT? Mike thinks I grew up in a barn, or it is something about the way I was raised.

He is wrong. My mother is extremely cleanly. (Cleanly: adj. Being disposed to cleanliness; having characteristics in direct opposition to Sarah's.) My dad, however, enjoys collecting stuff and having a healthy bit of clutter. I feel as if I may have inherited my ability to acquire stuff and stack it up from his side of the family (my grandparents introduced me to the joys of garage saling at a young age). I also feel as if I have taken this to a new level. Seriously, my parents tried to enforce the idea that you rinse your dishes immediately instead of letting them pile up in the sink. They threatened to get a chute and send the contents of my room down it into a large dumpster. They demanded to know why a trail of dishes, books, pencils, and other detritus followed me from room to room. I do not know the answer to this question. I really don't. I make a cup of Coke, I put ice cubes in it. Then it occurs to me to do something in the bathroom. I take the Coke with me, where I put it down in the cabinet and proceed to lose it. I don't remember where I lost it. So I make another Coke. I take it to the living room. The next day I find a flat Coke in the linen cabinet and think, "Huh." I am forever doing things like finding my lip gloss in the entertainment center.

I like to think of myself as some creative genius for whom the mundane has no relevance. But I think I may just be a mess.

I am going to try to give you a glimpse into my thought process. Here is my secret: I don't see clutter. It's like my eyes gloss right over it. I could type at my desk all day and not notice that there are three coffee cups and a bowl on it, until someone points out the excessive dishes. Mike is fascinated by this particular quality of mine, and has taken to testing me by leaving random things out and seeing how long it takes me to notice them. Here's another thing: I am easily distracted. I think this is my Gemini nature; when I am into something, I forget the existence of other things. I also jump disconcertingly quickly from one thing to the next. So like, I could be washing dishes, wash two, and then it suddenly occurs to me that I really haven't seen "Braveheart" in a while. So I go watch it. I tell you, I do not know how this happens. It just does.

But sometimes I get in these weird moods where something grosses me out and I have to clean it. Like a couple weeks ago, I was kneeling on the floor and I saw that there was seriously dust about half an inch thick on top of the molding. I thought, "Gross," and went and dusted it. Mike is at a loss as to how I can notice that and ignore the stack of smelly water-filled dishes preventing us from using the sink tap. Am I not driven crazy until I have finished the task by dusting the rest of the house? Does it not, he demands, interfere with my inner peace, with the feng shui of my life?

Does not occur to me.

But wait! It isn't just me who suffers from this! Witness the following IM conversation I had this morning with Chrissy:

Sarah: he threw a box of kleenex on the floor last week and left it there to see how long i would walk around it
Chrissy: haha
S: but like, he threw it! why would i pick it up?
C: i don't know
C: for all you know it was there for a reason
S: i dont know, it was there for 3 days
C: i often don't even see that sort of thing
S: because he thrrew it at the cat
C: it's invisible
S: i dont either!
S: exactly!
C: unless you need it or you fall on it
C: you don't see it
S: this is exactly how i am
C: actually i don't see things when i need them either
S: he thinks i am some weird species

Tags: cleaning,thoughts,clutter