Disgruntled Service Employee In Black Tie Blows Up Place With Machine Gun
Do I really want to get into a rant about my night at work? The thing is, I have waited tables before. I know that bad nights happen. The nearly-breaking-down-in-tears was more due to the fact that I had the last table in the restaurant and they were there till 11:15 when we stop seating at 10:00 than the fact that they didn't tip. And honestly, this restaurant is a generally expensive classy place-- this was the first time in the month I've been there that I've had tacky low-class people. I should probably be thankful for that. But I am somewhat ashamed at my near breakdown. I can't explain it. The closest I can come is to explain that if tears had arisen, they would not have been because I take waitressing personally. They would actually be tears of rage.
Perhaps I ought to just quote Jerry Maguire that my job "is an up-at-dawn pride swallowing SIEGE that I will NEVER fully tell you about!" You know, except for the up-at-dawn part. "Up till 2 AM" would be more accurate. So yeah. I am not going to tell you about it. I am not going to blog it.
With the caveat that, if you go out to a nice restaurant and beg to be seated five minutes after closing, and are the last table in the place, then order drinks, every appetizer in the place, a three course meal including WELL DONE RIBEYES, then have your extremely attentive server (because she doesn't have anything left to do except wait on you, and because she is excited you are the only expensive table she has had on a slow Wednesday night and will double what she's made so far) bring you steak sauce, ketchup, sprites with no ice, and all manner of stupid requests, then want your ribeye RECOOKED, which requires the kitchen guys to reopen the grill that they have already cleaned, it being 45 minutes after closing, and smile and be nice, and get boxes for your leftovers, look at the bill which is $170, smile, and leave A FUCKING FIVE on the table...
... I hereby ban you from ever eating out again. No, really. Ever. And don't be surprised if you get gunned down on your way out of the parking lot.
Off to work.
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